Lights. Camera. Action!

By Laurie Ashton

I love going to the movies. No outside world. No interruptions. The big screen. Surround sound. Nothing but me and the big screen. Total immersion at its finest.

Last week, I rode like the wind on some spankin’ fast motorbikes with Ali (Uday Chopra), a mechanic and fast, fast, fast, rider, and Jai Dixit (Abhishek Bachchan) as they chased after armoured truck thieves on more fast, fast, fast motorbikes. It gets more interesting as the thieves think they’ve gotten away with everything, but then Ali and Jai track them down to a hotel in Goa, where the thieves were planning an even bigger heist. Whew! We managed to stop them in time! (Dhoom, 2004.)

Yesterday, I, wussy girl, was scared witless listening to EVP, Electronic Voice Phenomenon, with Jonathan Rivers (Michael Keaton), as he listened for messages from his dead wife, Anna Rivers (Chandra West), to save victims of a serial killer. (White Noise, 2005.)

I had nightmares last night. But like I said, I’m wussy girl. I get scared easily by freaky things, even when they happen during the day. No way would I watch a movie like that after it’s dark! Uh uhn!!

But the seats at movie theatres are often uncomfortable, and you can’t exactly stretch out all over the place. And what if you need a potty break? I’ve never met a theatre-going crowd who would happily pause it for that! And then there are the snacks. What if I’m in the mood for something the theatre doesn’t have?

Then there are the viewers like my husband who punch holes in the plot of every single movie. While the movie’s playing. Every five seconds! Do you know how violent other movie goers can get? They throw popcorn. They glare. They even – gasp! – tell people to shut up! The horror!

I’m actually okay with that, but that’s only because he annoys me, too. :P (Honey, if you insist on talking during the movie, won’t you puh-leeze pause it?)

And then he has the nerve to predict the ending of every single movie.

And get it right.

Every single time.

He’s been hit for that. He pissed off the wrong person, I tell ya. (Um, yeah, sorry about that, hon!)

In a movie theatre, you have no control. But in a home theatre, you do. Unless you have my husband.

Home theatre. Those words send shivers up my spine.

Combine a big screen television with a home theatre system, and what have you got? An idea whose time is now.

But isn’t a home theatre system nothing more than a glorified television and DVD player?

My friend, you could not be more wrong!

Yes, a television is required, preferably bigger and better. Add a DVD player, mix with two rear speakers, two front speakers, a center speaker and a subwoofer, and you’ve got surround sound. An instant recipe for the ultimate in viewing and listening pleasure.

Add in one slightly hard of hearing person, and surround sound becomes a must for clarity. Heaven knows the sub-titles we sometimes get on the DVDs don’t help. I seem to recall a certain James Bond movie with very bad surfing special effects. Has Bond, James Bond ever uttered the words “Confucious says a red rose is waiting to wilt”?

Imagine a home theatre system like Samsung offers, the SMG-HT350. 400 watts, 100 in the subwoofer for “low frequency effects (3-120 Hz range), and the rest in the 60 watts in the two rear speakers, two front speakers, and one centre speaker for full surround sound, that, when combined with the Dolby Digital, Dolby Pro Logic, and DTS sound, provides sound effects so realistic you’d swear there really were four motorcycles (Dhoom) roaring through your living room.

DTS, or Digital Theatre Sound, is a motion picture sound system format that stores sound in a 5.1 channel system, five full-bandwidth channels in the 3-20,000 Hz frequency range, plus one “low frequency effects” subwoofer channel devoted to frequencies in the 3-120 Hz range. Dolby also has the 5.1 channel system, and with it, you get a higher level of realism. Sounds can be placed much more precisely for dialogue clarity (good for the hearing impaired in the crowd, as my husband would say), spaciousness, and realism. You get stereo surround channels – you can hear separate off-screen sounds to the left rear, right rear, or both simultaneously. Many have argued hotly over which is better, but there is no clear consensus. What is clear, however, is that they are both worlds beyond plain stereo.

Add in a DVD player that supports DVD-Video, DVD-R/RW, Audio CD, CD-R/RW, VCD, MP3 CD Compatible, and JPEG Slide Show and you’re laughing. But what does all that mean? In a nutshell, it plays any kind of movie or music CD or DVD that I’ve ever come across, including everything that’s commercially available and a whole bunch of burn-it-yourselfers, including a JPEG slide show your best friend made while he was on vacation in Singapore.

But now, I’m going to mourn a very dear friend, Aman Mathur (Shahrukh Khan), who’s awoken feelings in Naina Kapur (Preity Zinta). Naina was overstressed with getting her MBA and her unhappy home situation. Her friend, Rohit Patel (Saif Ali Khan), is too happy go lucky for her, which only causes more friction. But Aman matches them up before. . . I don’t want to give all of Kal Ho Naa Ho (2003) away, or my husband will threaten me more bodily harm.

You’ll just have to experience it in your own home theatre.

Copyright © 2004 Laurie Ashton. All works on this site are the exclusive property of Laurie Ashton. This work may not be transmitted via the internet, nor reproduced in any other way, without prior written consent from Laurie Ashton. No exceptions.
Send email to laurie at laurieashton dot com with questions or comments about this web site.
Last Updated: 2005-07-06 11:28 s l cc gk fh